If we are friends on FB you will have seen my post that last week was one of the best weeks I’ve had this year. Not necessarily because I received anything tangible, but because the Lord spoke to me in a way that I have been awaiting all year long. I also got to attend the best baby shower I’ve ever attended for a sweet sister of mine, again not because of anything tangible but because “surely God was in that place” (Genesis 28:16), and women were set free.
Although I am using this particular post to tell you all about what God spoke to me and what that means to me, it is my sincere prayer that God will speak specifically to someone’s heart who has found themselves frustrated with their current circumstance or with the ministry that God has given them. It is my prayer that the words God spoke to me will speak to you and PUSH you to move forward with a fresh perspective and revelation of what God has called you to do. Before I go forward, let me start by telling you what God spoke so clearly to me last Wednesday night; “I’m going to do just what I said.”
The Conviction
For starters, I am not one who runs from correction or conviction. I welcome it in my life whether it comes from God or a messenger of God. Conviction sets the path for correction. I hate the cliché’ “If you knew better, you’d do better” for the reason that the only people I ever see write that as a status or comment on social networking or say it verbally are ones that I know for a FACT know better and are still NOT doing better. Those are words spoken in the flesh. Until God’s Spirit CONVICTS them, they will never be set on the path to correction and freed from the sin and bondage that entangles them. If God doesn’t transform and renew your mind you will always know better and never do better.
For months I had been seeking God concerning what it was specifically that He wanted me to do in this season. I was becoming very frustrated with where I was in life, financially, ministry, living circumstances etc. I can’t tell you how many tears I’ve shed asking God to make things clear to me. Last Wednesday, He did. While attending a church conference I was invited to by a dear friend, we began to pray. At that moment while holding my friend’s hand and another woman I did not know, the Spirit of God began to rest heavily upon me. So much so that I could no longer stand and it felt as if something knocked me off my feet. I fell to the ground crying and said YES! Over and over again. I’ve said yes many times, but this time was different.
This is what God spoke to me, and trust me I have absolutely no problem being transparent when I know it will help someone else. I heard God CLEARLY say, “You have been entertaining the wrong audience. You need to get back to WHY it all began.” He was referencing my ministry, Restoring the Heart. He began to say, “The women you have been reaching out to appreciate you, but are already surrounded by encouragement, they have things to do, other meet-ups and groups they are a part of; they do not NEED you.” I cried all the more and knew exactly what that meant.
Last year I split RTH into two groups, so that I could focus on the teen girls OR the women, while entrusting someone else to oversee the other. I knew that as long as I was doing it alone, the teens or the women would be neglected because I did not have the time to do both. That’s exactly what happened. I wanted with all my heart to focus on the teens but instead I began to focus on the women while neglecting to reach out to the teen girls. The teens are the “WHY” RTH began. God told me that I was never supposed to be focused on the women in this season, that’s why I have been so frustrated and was receiving little to no support. God said, “The girls that you have been neglecting because you’ve been entertaining the wrong audience, have no one. They don’t have meet-ups, they don’t have mentors, they don’t have positive things to do, and they don’t have YOU.” I was so convicted that I all I could do was sit and cry. I asked God to forgive me for getting away from the WHY of RTH and focusing on what I thought would be the easiest thing to do, yet still effective thinking it would please Him.
You see, when God has given you an assignment, it may be in multiple parts. What He has shown me is that although I have seen the big picture, I still have to operate in steps. Never neglect the WHY. The WHY is what opens doors and makes way for other opportunities, but when you do it your way, you will always be frustrated because you are operating out of order and missing the opportunities that God already had in place for the WHY. My WHY is not just ‘teen girls’ but also ‘abortion’. I was once a “teen girl” who had an “abortion” and it changed my life forever. Not realizing that if I had the positive, godly support from an older woman to tell me that being pregnant at 15 was not going to be the end of my life would have saved me from over a decade of shame, pain, guilt, grief, and a host of negative repercussions from that ONE choice I made before I trusted God to restore my heart and heal. God has made it very clear to me that I have to get back to the WHY, because THEY need me now more than the women I’ve been reaching out to do.
The Revelation and Confirmation
I attended the conference again on Friday night, and again God spoke to me in the most audible voice reminding me of what He said on Wednesday. 1.) I’m going to do what I said 2.) Get back to the WHY and do it now 3.) You already have what you need
As I began to praise God, again, I rested in the Holy Spirit and all I remember me saying was “YES Lord, I hear you, and YES I will do it” all over again.
The same night He said, “You sit behind your computer EVERY DAY and cry when you see that another baby has been aborted or hear another tragic story of a girl or woman who died during an abortion or who is now struggling emotionally from that choice she made. What are you going to do about it?” He told me that my working at the Pregnancy Center and my peer-counseling these ladies before they made the choice of life or death for their baby was just not enough.
I bless God for the testimonies that have come forth from the ladies who looked me in my eyes and told me they were going to abort their babies, only to have them say thirty minutes into the peer-counseling session, that they can’t do it with tears in their eyes because of me sharing what God says about the sanctity of human life and us reading His word together, and two, when God leads me, my personal testimony. Or the ladies I follow up with or search their files who were set on aborting and have been attending our H.O.P.E. classes and have chosen LIFE! God uses us to speak His word, but it is HIM alone that convicts the heart and transforms minds. I take absolutely no credit for the words God gives me to say. He alone is worthy.
Not only did God convict me about entertaining the wrong audience and sitting behind the computer crying every day when I had the power to do more, He gave me the confirmation that I had all I needed to move forward by reminding me that I already have school connections that would be glad for me to host programs and workshops there, and two, I worked at a place that did what He put in my heart to do last Thursday (in between the two days I went to the conference), facilitate a post abortion Bible study. Next month I will begin a facilitator’s class at PRC that will equip me with the tools and resources necessary to facilitate Post Abortion Bible Studies there, and one day outside of PRC through RTH. I bless God for the opportunity to be a part of another woman’s healing! Not to many words can articulate that joy!
Encouragement
For the last year I’ve repeated these words over and over again, not realizing that I was speaking these very words over my life, “I’m stuck”. I repent again for even thinking those sick words. Last Wednesday the pastor said, “And quit saying YOU’RE STUCK!” I could have passed out! I began to say, “I am not stuck, I am not stuck….” This morning while speaking to a very dear friend, she said something along the lines of being “in between” places. She didn’t know it but I shed a tear as she reminded me that it always feels hard when you are “in between” two places because it can be a tight place but God is there in the in between and He has given you everything you need to get to the next place. You have to trust Him and just move forward knowing that He is in full control. Thanks TC! I love you so much for that encouragement!
Today I leave you with two things. If you have been frustrated with what you are to be doing in this season, especially in terms of ministry, get back to your WHY. WHY did you begin the ministry in the first place? What audience or group of people did you establish this ministry for? Look around and utilize the resources you have to reach them. Don’t wait for other people to help you physically, or for the support of people who cheer you on but never sow a seed to help you reach the people God has called you to. God wants to see how faithful you are with what you already have. For the past three years, 95% of the money that supports RTH has been my own and 95% of the physical work has been me alone. And I bless God almighty for the few that have sown, created graphics, built websites, and lent a hand in whatever way. You are appreciated! I’m not complaining, God has truly blessed RTH and has allowed me to touch the lives of some phenomenal teen girls and ladies over the years, but I know He requires more. I am now getting back to my WHY and believing God to do just what he promised. While we prepare and say yes, trust God to do what He promised. If we dig the trenches, God will send the rain!
Prayer
Father, in Jesus name, we thank you for this day and for being God alone. You have established before the foundations of this world our purpose and you have entrusted in us to carry out that assignment no matter what. Do not allow the struggles, the “in between” places and the distractions to get us off course, but to help PUSH us into our calling and purpose all the more. Your strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), so help us not to get weary in doing well (Galatians 6:9). We trust you with our life and resources. If we have strayed from our WHY because we wanted to go the easy route and still be effective, thinking it will please you, we repent and ask that you’d help us refocus today. God we know that many of our frustrations in life come out of our disobedience to you and trying to do things our way. Forgive us Father. We love you and on this day we say YES. Whatever it takes, we say YES. Whatever sacrifices have to be made, Father we say YES. Keep us and cover us in your precious blood as we move forward with boldness and witness you do just what you said. In Jesus name, the only name that saves, sets free, transforms minds, heals, and restores, we pray – Amen.
At His Service,
Lanita D. Wilks ©
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